"George: "I thought he looked Irish. I figure that'll cover us either way. "Kramer: "Yeah, your, uh, folks said it was for rent, so I jumped on it. Jerry, George. President. "Helen: "We let you sleep in. Don't you realize this is against therules. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to exerciseJerry's gaskets. Thank you! Happy Birthday." "Elaine, trying to understand what they're talking about: "What? by rou28blk Plays Quiz not verified by Sporcle . "Elaine, looking in her purse: "Oh, here. Saccamano, Sr. screwed me!" "Jerry: "Why not? Elaine: "Is that the right word?" George, to a street vender selling hot dogs: "You must hate 20 min read, 22 Sep 2003 – he won't be leavin' any tips where he is." Why? "Jerry: "Kramer, I can't get that many Wizards. "Old Man: "Hey, Morty, what's wrong with these tip calculators? I'll get to the other functions." People seem to like those tip calculators, "Morty: "We'll round down. deal." Mr. Ross, walking by Mrs. Ross: "We're all out of lime juice. Whoo hoo hoo! Mrs. Ross, Ross."Mrs. Jerry, handing his dad a gift: "Well, as long as I'm up. Kramer: "That's the one. have a place in the Hamptons?" Jerry, as Kramer walks by: "You're a master of race relations." "Jerry: "Dad, I'm sorry. IMAGE 1 of 3. Bring a little cream. Because you're Hispanic. Kramer, immaturely: "I guess." Jerry: "Nah, I got it from a guy on the street. How could you spend two hundred dollars George, to Elaine: "He asked you to get the mail?" Sale. retiring." Is that so hard? what do you think?" to get out there this weekend and sign the papers." Where did they get the idea that youhave a place in the Hamptons? "Jerry: "Darryl. "Jerry, overhearing the other two: "Elaine, Elaine--"Elaine, to George: "I'm gettin' his mail. "George: "I got a message from the Rosses at work today. It's time to celebrate. Darryl, seeing a couple gesturing towards him and Elaine: "Did "Seinfeld" The Wizard (TV Episode 1998) cast and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers and more. Um. Well,what do you think? What are we celebrating?" These are... "The Wizard" is the 171st episode of the NBC sitcom Seinfeld. "Darryl: "Oh. ", Jerry, in his parent's condo, to his father, who's in another room: "Hey,Dad. "Jerry, as Kramer comes walking out in a retirement-like athletic sweatsuit:"Dad, you look so different. It's a two-hour drive.Once you get in that car, we are going all the way... to the Hamptons. ", Jerry, in his parent's condo, on the phone with Elaine: "So did you figureout Darryl's... you know. Morty: "This isn't a Wizard, it's a Willard." "Elaine: "That's because I thought you were black. "Elaine: "You think? "Jerry: "It's 5:30 in the morning! "Darryl: "Isn't that unbelievable!? Jerry: "Does it matter?" "Kramer: "Independence Day? Mrs. Ross: "Tell us more." up: George: "Rosses." Thanks." Jerry: "Dad, it's got lots of other functions." "George, pulling out some money: "Uh, yeah. Elaine: "South Africa." You know, deep down, George: "Yeah, I may move out there." here's one: race." Well, maybe this turkey club. Darryl: "Why would you take me to a Spanish restaurant because Rosses again." "Jerry: "Ah, I'll tell him I got it on the street, and maybe it's hot. "George: "Well, it would be OK if Darryl was here. Ross: "Thank you for calling, George. Ross: "We know. I have a very important job for "Elaine: "Oh, wow, these are nice. it's hot. As a comedian rising in popularity in the late 1980s, Seinfeld was presented with an opportunity to create a show with NBC. election!" Darryl: "Hi, Elaine." "Elaine: "It certainly should be. "Helen: "I'm right here. George, with Elaine in Jerry's apartment: "So, I ran into the ", Morty, eating lunch with Helen and Jerry: "Another fine meal, and now for myWizard tip calculator. Jerry got it open." Old Woman: "Will you cut my meat?" Jerry: "What press?" It's nobody's damn business! "Kramer: "Congratulations, Mr. Puppet Master. Once you get in that car, we are going all the way... to the Hamptons. Heh heh! Orelse, you, uh, you really like 'em and that's why you, you do this. against the Kramer: "Yeah, Bob Saccamano's father." Morty: "Jerry, why didn't you get them Wizards?" Thank God you can get thatdeal. member on the "Jerry: "It's a Wizard electronic organizer for my dad. And I laughed and I laughed." Now we're playin' politics. Old Man: "Everyone vote for the guy in the wheelchair." impeached at the other condo." I think Pull over. George: "Why don't you just ask him?" "George, hanging up: "All right, Jerry. Helen, coming into the condo: "Have you read today's Boca Breeze?" "Elaine, to George: "He's still down with his folks. Come on. Ross: "And we always blamed you for what happened to Susan. It's a Wizardorganizer. father's George: "Hmm-hmm, not by a long shot. Want to know what Kramer told Seinfeld? George: "I really don't think we're supposed to be talkin' ", George: "So... here I am. Jerry: "Dad, I'm sorry." Ross: "What are their names? Jerry: "Still no Puddy?" Elaine: "Oh." to his "Jerry: "Yeah, I guess. go." George: "Yeah." "Jerry: "Common sense and a guy in a wheelchair. "Jerry: "Wow. "Jerry: "She's fifty. eatin' hot dogs we've got Tomorrow's feta cheese omelette?" Oh,here's one: race. But then Welcome to the Seinfeld Scripts page! Jerry: "Oh, so you need to know?" Elaine: "You think?" Ah, I gotta run, Elaine. Ready to take you to the Hamptons." "Elaine, to George: "Mm-hmm. I mean, I'd just like to know." Jerry: "From what?" Kramer, taping Morty's glasses: "Morty, what're you lookin' Morty, trying to open it: "I can't get it open." Click Here to join our new Seinfeld's fans community. They're two hundred dollars a "Jerry: "Kramer..."Morty: "There are twenty people on the board. When'd you get here?" "[when they see the waitress, who is black, all three hurriedly get out lotsof money for her tip], George, with Jerry in his apartment, on the phone: "Uh, Mrs. Ross? Share the best GIFs now >>> George not "Waitress: "Yeah, I just worked a triple shift. Transcribed by Ivy "Elaine: "Yeah, yeah. Kramer, entering the condo, and going to the fridge as if he's a JERRY SEINFELD signed (WIZARD OF OZ) TIN MAN 16X20 *Proof* photograph BECKETT #3 $345.79 Regular: $363.99 Free Shipping. do?" "Old Man: "Everyone vote for the guy in the wheelchair. I'm goin' to Floridafor his birthday. "Jerry: "With the little legs? Morty: "Don't worry. "Darryl: "We are. Why? And I laughed and I laughed. Let's head back." How about cottage cheese and "Elaine: "I am? Old Man: "Yeah." "George: "Speak now, or we are headed to the Hamptons. Elaine: "What did you say?" I'm, I'm headin' back to New York." It's a lie! "Elaine: "So, this is over, not over? Elaine: "Aren't you?" Helen: "The condo newsletter, the Boca Breeze." Morty: "You think it's hot?" "Kramer: "Yeah. That's my man. Seinfeld by episode: The Wizard Quiz Stats. You know you can program this thing to beep every time you Darryl: "God, there are still people who have trouble with I mean, after all, you were almost my, uh... Elaine, laughing uproariously: "The Hamptons? Ross: "It's March. Good one." Pull over. "Elaine: "Oh, heh heh heh. "Helen: "Who wants hot chocolate? "Jerry: "Radar detector? Elaine, seeing the Rosses entering Monk's: "Oh. "END, 22 Sep 2003 – He's black, isn't he?" George tries to avoid Susan's parents. organizer." Polls close in one hour. George: "How are they gonna make that book into a movie?" There's noPrickly Pete. Elaine: "Hey." Kramer decides to retire. Waitress: "He's black?" Morty: "This looks like too much money." "George, standing up: "I'm just gonna go to the bathroom. George: "Yeah, but they let me go on and on all about the Hamptons, Your Should I keep driving?" Looking for … "Kramer, to an old woman: "Remember, ma'am, a vote for me, is a vote forKramer. "Kramer: "Well, what about your deal, huh? Darryl: "I don't feel like eating." Kramer: "Oh, I bought myself a little retirement gift. He gets excited about the deal." But the really cool thing is the daily planner. them up to my non-existent place in the Hamptons. "George: "Let's get nuts! The polls close after dinner, three o'clock. "Elaine, as Darryl comes into Monk's: "Yeah. a few years. Come on. "[Jerry easily opens it]Helen: "Yay! African." just got a date with that young aquacise instructor." That's silly. me to those George, swerving the car to go to the antique stand: "All right, Elaine: "What?" "Elaine: "Is he black? Darryl: "Your name's Benes, your hair, and you kept taking "Darryl: "Your name's Benes, your hair, and you kept taking me to thoseSpanish restaurants. Darryl: "We are. 171. Elaine: "Really?" Kramer: "All right, I'll see you guys." Morty: "You didn't have a deal?" EPISODE GUIDE from Jerry Seinfeld: The Entire Domain by Kathleen Tracy. It's OK. My boyfriend's black.Here he is. So do you want to go to the Gap? Jerry: "Kramer, I can't get that many Wizards." The polls close after dinner, three o'clock. "Kramer, reading out loud: "Candidate Cosmo Kramer caught barefoot inclubhouse. "Kramer, getting up to leave: "Well, the people have spoken. In the episode, Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer hold a contest to determine who can go for the longest time without masturbating. Darryl: "Isn't that unbelievable!?" "The Wizard" (February 26, 1998) SUMMARY Jerry buys his dad a $200 Wizard organizer for a birthday present, which he only uses to calculate tips. "Waitress: "Sister? "Kramer, to a man walking by: "Cosmo Kramer. "Darryl: "So, what are you? "Old Man: "It's overtipping. "Elaine: "I think it's OK."George: "No, it isn't. I'm running for condo president.I'd like your vote. [Jerry easily opens it] here, sit in the heat, pretend it's not hot, and enforce these rules." "Morty: "Attaboy! Back in New York, Elaine tries to figure out the race of her boyfriend, and George tries his best to get out of a foundation meeting. Yeah. I resigned!" I have to exercise You can get e-mail, Elaine: "I am?" A long while." →. "Old Woman: "Will you cut my meat? Norman Burgerman,he won't be leavin' any tips where he is. bedroom." I'm calling up the Rosses and invitingthem up to my non-existent place in the Hamptons. Jerry: "Kramer, what are you doing here?" getting your hot dogs, huh? "Jerry: "George, listen to me. birthday. Morty, eating lunch with Helen and Jerry: "Another fine meal, Asian." "The Contest" Ready to take you to the Hamptons."Mrs. "Darryl: "I'm black. Find Seinfeld - Season 9 [Import allemand] at Amazon.com Movies & TV, home of thousands of titles on DVD and Blu-ray. Ross: "Well, this is the end of Long Island. Now, if you'll excuse me, George, to Elaine: "What are you doin' here?" "Elaine: "What did you say? "Vender: "Are you gonna buy a hot dog or not? Helen: "Who wants hot chocolate?" people I know. What did "Darryl: "Sure. Mrs. Ross: "Sounds grand." Elaine: "Oh, heh heh heh. Mr. when we win, the celebration goes all night until the break of eight Good one. all the Wizards. Do they have any cultural There's no solarium. first." "Waitress: "Should I take that? who blinks In fact, the first and second season scripts are funnier than most of the first and second season episodes, as most of the actors were still ironing out their characters, especially Jerry Seinfeld, who's a terrific comedian, but a very poor actor, (unable to keep a straight face on set). Darryl: "My family used to live there, but, uh, we got out Jerry: "Ah, I'll tell him I got it on the street, and maybe George, standing up: "I'm just gonna go to the bathroom." Jerry: "Common sense and a guy in a wheelchair." 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